AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the he!! up."

LIFE IN THE 1500'S
Interesting...
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.

That's how canopy beds came into existence the floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor."

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside.   A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold."

Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for  quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon."

They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."  Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. 

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."  Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.  So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground, and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring! ! !
Educate someone...Share these facts with a friend

BIKER BAR
 
>A drunk walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar,
>and orders a drink. Looking around, he sees three
>tough-looking bikers sitting at a corner table. He
>gets up, staggers to the table, looks the biggest,
>meanest biker in the face, and says, "I went by your
>grandma's house today and I saw her in the hallway
>buck-naked. Man, she is one fine looking woman!" The
>biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. His buddies
>are confused, because he is one bad biker and always
>gets into fights at the drop of a hat. The drunk leans
>on the table again and says, "I got it on with your
>grandma and she is good, the best I ever had!" The
>biker's buddies are starting to get upset, but the
>biker still says nothing. The drunk leans over one
>more time and says, "I'll tell you something else,
>boy, your grandma liked it!" At this point, the biker
>stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders, looks him square in the eyes and says, "Grandpa, go home, you're drunk!"

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual
check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The
80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have
a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers his question for a minute and
then begins. I have an older friend, much like you,
who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a
season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was
in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his
walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the
creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream
of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'.
Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over
dead. What do you think of that?"
The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a
couple of rounds into that beaver."
The doctor replied, "My point exactly."